LOVING THE SKIN YOU’RE IN: Rediscovering True Self-Worth

Where Petals Unfold, Hearts Flourish

Hey Lilies! You Are More than your reflection. Self-worth is believing internally that you are enough, that you belong, that you deserve love and respect. You, all by yourself, without achievement, accolades or other people’s opinion. Self-worth, unlike self esteem, is a stable internal sense of value. Self-esteem on the other hand, thrives on external validation.

Self-worth is not earned, it is inherent, it is not dependent on someone else’s approval, it’s knowing and believing that you are good enough, even if you make mistakes. Our past experiences, going back as far as childhood, can adversely affect our view of ourselves. Negative criticisms and a lack of unconditional love can cause a fragmented sense of self, while growing up experiencing love and acceptance builds and nourishes our sense of self.

Another possible reason why we struggle to feel worthy is because we are holding onto and blaming ourselves or others for past mistakes. Acknowledging and accepting what happened opens the door to us forgiving ourselves and others, and allows us to move forward. Identify what you’ve learned from the painful situation and determine in your heart not to repeat or allow the action that brought you there. Letting go of past mistakes or hurts is crucial for building a healthy self-image.

PRACTICAL WAYS TO BUILD SELF WORTH

1. Setting boundaries
2. Identify your unique strengths
3. Take actions that align with your personal values.

Many of us tend to have a love/hate relationship with ourselves because we struggle to embrace ourselves in totality. We think there’s something wrong with us and we refuse to accept ourselves just as we are, flaws and all. Many people do not like mirrors, yet we own several of them. I have yet to see a house that has no mirrors in it. We spend a lot of time looking in the mirror hoping that it will tell us who we are, and many times we walk away from it feeling unhappy or disappointed with who we see there. This on and off love relationship is not happening directly between the mirror and the person looking at it; it is going on between the person standing before the mirror and the person they see in the mirror. This sometimes dysfunctional relationship exists partly because of the value that society has placed on outer appearance and beauty, and also because we are buying into it. Society’s definition of beauty is perfection, which is unattainable for EVERYONE, as the standard keeps changing – just when you think you have it figured out, it changes again.

So much of those expectations are fantastical, they are unrealistic, undefined and unattainable. Nothing is wrong with striving to look our best, we should do that, this builds self-esteem, but a look at our physical features should not determine who we are innately, and how much

We are worth, we are not made or produced in a factory. We are unique individuals and there is great value to that. The fact that we exist – alone, is enough to make us worthy of love and full acceptance. We are enough, all by our natural selves, without additives or preservatives. Self-worth is not earned; it is an inherent right. You don’t have to do anything to be worthy. Self-worth is not tied to perfection.

No one who does not know us, who has never met us, should ever be given the power to determine whether or not we are beautiful or worthy. We (should) know ourselves best, and the image our mirrors reflect is an important part of who we are, however, it is not all-encompassing.

Tips on practicing self-care and self-acceptance:

1. Ditch comparisons
2. Focus on what your body can do
3. Treat yourself like a true friend would

CREATE A BODY POSITIVITY RITUAL

1. Try a daily affirmation (e.g, “My body is beautiful just as it is”)
2. Move your body in ways that feel good (dance, yoga, walks)
3. Wear clothes that make you, you

GROWING GRACEFULLY

CHECK OUT: The Body is not an Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor – a powerful read
Keep growing, Keep Blooming!